They are called truffles

For almost 9 years the SacTownGuy has worked at the same law firm and during that time I have had the same VERY annoying bookeeper/office manager type. I don't think she knows she is annoying as a lot of people pretend to like her. Some maybe even do like her... but I doubt it. She has made at least one of my paralegals cry over the years and has left me speechless on countless occasions as she has no sensitivity and she has zero ability to communicate properly. She is like a bull in a china shop. I really don't think she intends to be rude as she will be the first to let you know how religious she is... thinking that alone makes her a good person. She also is a know-it-all (just ask her) and she is NEVER wrong; in fact, she has probably never made a mistake in her life (just ask her).

Why hasn't she been fired yet? Well, she is the widow of one of the founding partners of the firm and thus my partners give her leeway. Plus she is honest and does a fine job at keeping the books. She is very meticulous which is important for her job. However, if it were up to me I would fire her ass in a second but that decision is not solely mine. One of these days she will go over the top, on the wrong day, and I will fire her on the spot before my partners can be consulted.

A couple recent stories might help illustrate why I find her so annoying. As you know I was in Hawaii last week. This annoying lady was in the Caribbean at the same time. I try to avoid talking to her as I find it easier to avoid her than deal with her rude comments. However, earlier this week I couldn't avoid her. She asked me where I had been and I told her that I had been in Hawaii. She replied, "oh, I guess I one upped you as I was in the Caribbean!?" I replied, "well, I guess you one upped me if you prefer the Caribbean to Hawaii!?" She then went into all the reasons why the Caribbean is better; the waters are so blue, yada, yada, yada.... "I mean, you have been there right?" I told her I had been to the Caribbean but I personally prefer Hawaii; it's a little closer, it's our country, etc.... She then told me that she went to the Virgin Islands and they are our country... as if I am looking to get into a tit for tat battle with her. I finally ended it with a short statement like "good" and I walked away.

Today we were in the kitchen at the same moment and I thus was faced with saying hello to her. I couldn't just pass that closely without saying hello... well, I could and have at other times, but I was feeling polite so said hello. She commented on the gift basket on the kitchen table. I explained it was a gift basket of chocolates from a business valuation expert who I referred a case to. My main TP who has a nice lefty jump shot a matter of fact. Anyway, TP sent a nice basket of chocolates... even the basket looks to be chocolate. I explained to the annoying one that at first I thought they were chocolate covered strawberries but then I bit into them and they were just pure chocolate. As if I was born earlier this morning she told me, "they are called truffles." She went on to explain that a truffle is a very rich chocolate.... I was speechless and finally muttered something like, "yes, I know what a truffle is." Anyway, I found it funny and if you didn't... I am sorry.

But... before I could hit "PUBLISH POST" I just had another story that I think helps show her "I am never wrong" mentality. She was off to traffic school today after work. WHAT? Ms. Perfect got a ticket? She said, "it was just for that stop sign over here...." I said, "did you break the law?" She couldn't directly answer me but instead said, "I told him I work right here near the stop sign and couldn't he just give me a break...." I said, "but did you break the law?" She, still unable to answer me, said, "I was going like 3 miles over the speed limit and he pretty much admitted it was a quota he had to make...." Again I said, "did you break the law?" She could not answer but instead said, "like you have never broken the law!?" I will post about that some other day as I had a few mild run ins (well, I ran and they didn't catch me) about late 1986... but that's not the point today as the statute of limitations has run. She could not admit that what she did was technically against the law and therefore the police officer had every right to give her the ticket. She is fully convinced the police officer is the only one at fault here for having a quota. Maybe that's a subtle story but it is very reflective of her and why I find her annoying.

peace out.