We headed over to the theater for the "bargain" maitnee of Don't Mess with the Zohan. Now, please remember the SacTownGuy worked at a movie theater back when he was the LAGuy so knows a thing or two about movies. In fact, remind me and I will tell you about my time at the theater in LA. However, this was a day at the movies in RoseTown and 20 some odd years since the LAGuy worked a theater in Westwood.
As typical of too many places I had to be asked if I wanted to donate a dollar to some cause. You know I donate a lot to charity but I don't like feeling guilted into giving a buck with every purchase so I politely declined. We gave our tickets to the ticket-ripper inside and HE asked if we wanted to donate a buck. How about this for an idea, how about NOBODY asks me for money while I spend my money to go to your movie theater! I wasn't done though. Kitty Kat belongs to some frequent moviegoer club (not sure who she goes with because it isn't me) and got a coupon for a free popcorn. I don't even like popcorn but I like free so we hand it in as we purchase our five dollar Diet Coke. The lady asks if we want to up it to a medium for fifty cents more. NO, JUST GIVE ME MY FREE F'ING POPCORN... and NO, I don't want to spend $1.50 for your new Kettle Korn flavoring because I just tried the free sample and it tastes NOTHING LIKE KETTLE KORN! After successfully navigating the concession stand someone to the right tries to call me over so I can try my chance at winning a free trip to Napa Valley. Without even listening or looking I bet you ten cents that was some sort of timeshare presentation!
Finally got to our seat and watched 10 minutes of commercials BEFORE the trailers started and everbody knows trailers are just more commercials. Do you know why they call them trailers? Maybe I will tell you another time. The Zohan finally came on and he amused. Not great but I would call it a C+ with moments of solid B. It appeared Sandler gave up with about 15 minutes to go and just called it a wrap because the last 15 minutes was pretty stupid. However, the first hour had a lot of funny bits and one-liners. Ok, well maybe not a lot but some!
We left via the snack bar to fill up Kitty Kat's Diet Coke with the "free" refill as if the first 44 ounces wasn't enough for us. Sharing her Diet Coke all afternoon is probably why I couldn't sleep last night. Anyway, as I get the re-fill I witnessed something a little scary at the snack bar. A young couple (30ish) were enquiring about the "kid's meal" for their 3 year old daughter. The couple was heavy set (and I am being kind with that description) and their daughter will be heavy set by the time her parents are done with her! Do you know what's in a kid's "meal" at a movie theater? You have the choice of a hot dog or pizza, the choice of candy or popcorn and a drink. They chose pizza, candy and a Sprite. Who the F' gives their 3 year old Sprite? Have you heard of milk or water? Shoot, give her fruit juice if you must but Sprite? Maybe I am old fashioned but I am old enough to fill my body with the chemicals of soda if I want to but I don't think it should be allowed for 3 year old kids. Seriously, should be illegal.
Well, we left there, completely disgusted with humanity and went to Target. We passed some people that must have thought they were going to Wal-Mart, in the parking lot. I could do a whole blog on them but let's say they were 30ish (they looked 50ish) but have consumed more beers than my frat did... going all the way back to when Meyer Boskey and Charles Tonsor, Jr. founded the f'ing frat at CCNY in 1899. These people looked like they could navigate their way to a sleezy bar and make inroads with the biker selling crank out the back door. Anyway, the woman, with tattoos trying to escape from her large, but very sloppy, clevage said, "no, no... I am talking about the guy who is my supposed real dad...." We only heard one line but it was all I needed to sum up that couple. I needed to hear no more. Scary! Oh ya, dude had on fishnet jersey style shirt; shocking! Basically the 90's version of a wifebeater shirt. Ok, not quite as bad as this one I found on-line but something like this.
Happy Monday y'all.
peace out.
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