Anyway, I got to the gym a little early. I had my two kids with me as Kitty Kat had a meeting to attend. Outside the gym was a group of kids in matching jerseys; our opponents I presumed. A couple of them had their I-Pods on. There was one old guy sitting there so I asked if he was on my team since I had not met one of our players yet and figured it must be him. He said that he was just a father of a player on the other team. He wasn't but 5 years older than me. We then headed inside.
As my kids sat in the stands eating their food I started warming up with the other team since none of my teammates were there. The other team was a team of young kids with the team name “GOAT.” I asked one of the kids if that was a take off on the LL Cool J album (and yes I did say “album”) and he told me it was. I almost said that I started listening to LL Cool J before some of your teammates were born but I opted to keep that point to my self. Seriously though, I got the Radio tape for my 18th birthday (Feb. ’86) which we celebrated at El Cholo in LA (the OG one down on Western of course).
At 6:14 our 4th and 5th players arrived and we avoided a forfeit. So we had 5 guys age 40 and over with 2 of our players over 50 against 7 kids who probably have fake ID’s in their wallets. Now, let me not make it sound like they were some impressive group of kids. A couple could shoot, a couple had decent handles, and they had Engelberg in the middle. Of their whole team I would say 2 or 3 might have played high school ball but that's about it; at least I know they wouldn't have been able to play at my little high school! They had matching GOAT jerseys with catchy names on the back like “Romancing” and “Hawk” and other such names. The Dream Team, on the other hand, has a whole range of jersey and no two are alike. I had on my “game worn” Matt Barnes UCLA reversible practice jersey and we have guys like Vegas Randy who usually wears his high school jersey which just might be from the 1970’s. So, to look at us GOAT sure looked better than the Dream Team.
We won the opening tip as we had our own Swen Nater out there, 6’10” BIG Duane. Don’t tell the city of Roseville but Duane was drafted by the Knick’s in ’87 and played overseas after playing his college ball at South Carolina. He is 45 and I believe I heard he is coming back after cancer treatment but 6’10” is SIX TEN no matter how you slice it! He has some nice post moves and gets a ton of boards of course.
The game started nicely and the Dream Team got off to a little lead. The team was really playing well and simply put... SacTownGuy esta en fugeo in the first half. When the other team starts yelling "someone get shooter," and they are talking about you, then you know things are going well. I really didn't keep track but I had 4 or 5 3's in the first half, a layup or two, and a freethrow so 15 or 17 or so. I believe 17 but that doesn't matter. It's not about points and no it's not about winning... it's about the individual highlights that make a blog even worth writing.
The fun started to heat up after I hit a couple of 3's. The kids didn't like losing to a team as old as their parents. I probably would not have liked it either when I was their age. I found myself on a break away 1 on 3. They had a guy standing on about the middle of the free throw line, a guy to the right of the key, and a guy in the middle of the key. I have seen my main man, Russell Westbrook, do it many times so I quickly calculated and did what he would do and went strong to the basket. I went right down the middle, between free line guy and outside the key guy, did a hard dribble to the left of the guy in the middle of the key, and finished... let me repeat AND FINISHED... with a nice left handed lay up. As much to myself as to anyone I said something like, "and Russell Westbrook with the strong finish." I said it loud enough for my dejected opponents to hear because they were sitting there with the realization that an old guy just diced right through the middle like they were standing still. Really. I think I better bring the video camera next time in case that ever happens again!
Things started to heat up at that point. I really don't remember all that was said but the next thing I remember was one of the kids saying "be quiet old man." I said, in a semi-friendly voice, "let's see how good you are when you are 40!?" For some reason that really set him off and he was popping off about stuff and then he called me "Basketball Jones." Well, in my book that's a pretty big put down. I picture the 40ish, white guy, tube socks, low top shoes, short shorts... oh wait a minute. Hmmmmmm....
Well, anyway I decided to google the term and found this on Wiki: "'Basketball Jones'" is a 1974 animated short film based on the Cheech and Chong song, "Basketball Jones featuring Tyrone Shoelaces", from their album Los Cochinos. The cartoon was created to promote the song's release in the United States. It is about a black teenager called Tyrone Shoelaces and his love of basketball."
This insult really sparked me... and I got a little out of control. Next time down court I found myself running across the top of the key toward the left wing, I picked up a loose ball, still moving toward the corner I contemplated what to do... "I of course should pass this to an open player but imagine if I make this..." and falling away toward the baseline I shot another 3 pointer and... swish. I then stopped and looking much like the Russell Westbrook picture a couple of posts below this gave a loud scream of joy. I don't think the kids liked that. I hit another 3 to end the half and, like I said, ended up with about 17 or 18 or whatever. Shoot, could have been 20 and when I re-tell this story in 25 years I scored 40 in the first half.
At half time I went up to one of the kids and assured him I was just enjoying myself, wasn't looking to start a fight and was really talking to myself as much as anybody. I guess that was a stretch. Anyway, he was friendly and said, "hey it's competitve, we just got off work...." I said, "I too just got off work, and then I picked up the kids... when you have work AND kids then you will have something to say." He acknowledged not having kids and he seemed to understand what I was saying. He also may have remembered that we had to play 4 on 5 for a minute as my little girl had to go potty during the first half and would not go into the bathroom alone. I got her in there, knowing the game is going on, and of course she had a shirt and pants over a leotard. Speaking of which, here is a picture of the little girl from earlier in the day. There are no soccer games scheduled until the week after Labor Day but she is ready:
Though I tried to make peace with GOAT the second half included many hard fouls by the kids. With two minutes left and the Dream Team down by 2 I was fouled hard near mid-court trying to dribble the ball up court. I threw in a little Vlade Divac by crumbling to the ground as if a bulldozer had hit me. Guess what? It worked. I got the intentional foul call but guess what? I missed BOTH free throws. Ouch. The Dream Team was 1 for 7 on free throws in the last couple minutes... and we lost by 3 or 4 points. I think I had about 2 points in the second half so a tad disappointing after the strong first half.
The kids were talking the whole game. They questioned the refs calls, they committed hard fouls, and in general they looked like chumps. Even their girlfriends in the stands were questioning calls. Though my team didn't win I always knew in the back of my mind that I could always go to the ulimate manly man, tough guy, comment and go "1040" on them. You know, "hey, let's compare our tax returns" because that's the ultimate scoreboard. However, I resisted.
I have to say the Dream Team played well. We had a 6th player show up at halftime so got to get a quick breather during the second half. We had nice bal movement, nice shooting, good rebounding, etc.... After the game Old Man Don, a 50'something year old rebounding machine, said that his 8 year old son came up to him at halftime and said, "dad you guys have to shoot better... also your whole team is not playing defense... you guys keep letting the other team into the lane...." WOW, broken down so well by an 8 year old. The bottom line kid is that good defense doesn't get you on SportsCenter!
As we got to the parking lot the kids from the other team piled into a couple of 1990's American cars. Probably going to ask one of their big brothers to buy them some beer. My kids and I got into the G35 to head home for bath time. Sure an Infiniti G35 is a nice car but that would have been a moment that would have made the purchase price and repair costs worthwhile to have bought a Porsche 911. That would have topped the night off just perfectly....
peace out.
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