Star War's Guy

I wish I could have pulled out the camera phone yesterday because this guy was a specimen that you needed to see! I was at Target with the kids. Each kid had ten bucks to spend. Thus we were in the toy aisle... the boy's toy aisle. It's full of plastic figures and vehicles for such lines as Power Rangers, Spiderman, Star Wars, etc.... This is my son's favorite place to go... he loves that boys toy aisle. Nothing pink!

As the little dude, who is almost 6 years old, perused each item with eyes wide open another shopper was also looking at each item... and even more eagerly, and with greater determination, than my 5 and a half year old. I will call him Star War's Guy. Dude was about 30 with a Mario Brothers shirt on. The shirt appeared new as it still had creases in it. He had a couple friends with him that looked pretty normal. In fact, if they hadn't been with this dork I would not have noticed them. The one, in particular, looked uncomfortable hanging out in the toy aisle as his friend ravaged the displays looking for certain items. Let me back track. I am not saying these other two guys ever get any action from the ladies... EVER... but I could see the other two guys sitting in a bar, very uncomfortably, and at least looking at women. Star War's Guy would have no time for such a time expenditure as being out looking for women. Ahh shoot, he has the Internet what does he need a bar for!?

Star War's Guy was going through each rack of toys like a homeless man at a homeless shelter. He had one Spiderman item under his arm but he wanted more! He was looking through the Spiderman items, the Incredible Hulk items, the Power Rangers items, and on he went. I stood there, starting at this guy in disbelief. Let me quickly point out he was NOT an Ebay guy (who I would give some leeway too) who was buying unique items to quickly flip on Ebay. This guy was buying for his personal collection FOR SURE! Let's talk about his "look." First of all, a Mario Brother's shirt, in and of itself, is fine. However, couple that with browsing through the toy aisle and the rest of his outfit and it screams MEGA DORK!

Dude had a normal looking hair cut (short overall but a little longer on top) but his clothes... oy vey! He had some jeans (NOT Levi's) that were that slightly off color of dark blue... as you might get at Wal-Mart. He had on generic, dark colored, shoes. Not athletic shoes and not dress shoes... just SHOES. Beyond all that though, the gleam in his eyes as he looked through each stack of kids toys was too much for me to take... MEGA DORK. I felt bad for him in certain ways as it was sad.

I have some dorky tendencies... most notably I get some enjoyment out of baseball cards and to a lesser degree video games. Let me quickly point out I like baseball cards, primarily because they are worth money, and I like video games from my youth and NOT computer games that cause me to sit for hours. In fact, I don't go out of my way to play video games but will play a game of Ms. Pac-Man while waiting for car to be washed down at Harv's... or occasionally will play a game with my kids. However, I have never owned and never played those mega-dork games on the computer which are basically akin to Dungeons and Dragons on-line. Of course, I NEVER EVER in my life played D & D because everybody knows that is the mega dork game of my youth. Makes me cringe to think about those dorks.

My son was unsure what to get but as my little dude looked through each color of light sabre, before selecting some other Star War's plane it dawned on me that my son really should have asked Star Wars Guy for his opinion on what to buy. Shoot, maybe they could have a play date next week and play with their Star War's toys together!? They could do a full scale re-enactment of the movie from the fort in the back yard and dive the death stars into the sandbox, before finally throwing Darth Vader to his death... in the deep end of the swimming pool! Hey, I was 5 once so I know how to play with toys... I just stopped making that choice when I was about 10 years old!

peace out.