Say What?

Do you ever say something to a person in passing and really have no clue what they say back to you? It happens to the SacTownGuy a lot as I was the 700WattCarSteroGuy for a long time. Rolling around town with the booming bass and crystal clear tweeters will mess up a person's hearing... just like momz told me it would! Anyway, I had passing words with a guy yesterday that left me wondering... I assume I heard him wrong... or maybe he was just messing with me because his word was so clear!?

I was walking down the hallway in our office building heading the bathroom. Side note, you know you have little kids when you almost write "potty" as the place an adult goes to urinate. Anyway, I was walking down the hallway and passed a guy that I often see around the building. I think he is like a maintenance guy or something. I have seen him for several years. He's a little Hispanic dude. I would say he is 5'5" or so. We usually acknowlege each other with a smile, a "hello" or the like. Yesterday he was walking toward me and as we passed I said, "good afternoon," to my little friend. He replied, "gordito."

I am guessing he didn't really say gordito to me but what did he say? It defintely was not "good afternoon." What could it have been? Or maybe he was just messing with me and really DID say gordito?

Of course it reminds me of Fletch greeting the housekeeper with the name of a popular SoCal fast food restaurant. I think the maid greeted Fletch with a "buenos noches" and Irwin M. Fletcher (aka: "Fletch") replied, "Pup 'n Taco." At other points in the movie he also greets people with various Spanish words such as an exchange with a guy (maybe the guy that brought him the two steak sandwiches?) The waiter says: "Muchas Gracias" and Fletch replies, "Tierra Del Fuego."

Anyway, the bottom line is I will likely never know what my little friend said yesterday but feel free to let me know if you have any idea.

peace out.

The computer says....

Had a great weekend. Saturday we went to the pimp house for breakfast. Our beloved waitress, Andrea, has moved on to greener pastures so we are trying to become accustomed to being treated like common customers. Andrea would greet us, about the same moment we sat down, with our drinks as she knew what us creatures of habit drank each time we were there. The replacements not only don't greet us with our regular drink, like we were Norm or Cliff, but also seem to ignore us like we were some outsider invading their space. Seriously, sometimes I feel like the staff there is avoiding our table; "oh those are Andrea's customers we will never match her skill as a waitress so we won't even try...."

Well, anyway we had a nice breakfast and might have found a replacement for Andrea. The gal was efficient, filled the drinks and didn't miss anything. More on that in a few weeks.... Sunday morning we hung at the pad in the AM. Kitty Kat wanted her Diet Coke so I rolled out to Mickey d's to get it. The kids were with me so I decided to get everybody some McGriddles. I have never been a Mickey D's fan but those McGriddles are pretty damn good. Order them plain, without the sausage, because who really knows what is in that sausage!?

I got to the drive-threw line just behind another car. He took the right hand lane behind another car I took the left behind a car. My lane moved first so I was able to get the jump on the guy who took the right. Of course, that is the same scenario, and same Mickey D's, as the time the lady cussed me out in the drive-threw line. CRAZY LADY I order 4 plan orders of McGriddles and 1 large Diet Coke. I know McGriddles are about 1 buck an order and the Diet Coke is about two bucks. However, the drive-threw loudspeaker told me the total was $10.04. This can't be right....

I got up to the window and alerted the young man that $10.04 did not sound right. He was very polite but was not sure because, of course, the computer told him it was $10.04. Dare he do any independent thought on the subject! I put the car in park and we waited. A few minutes later he comes back and tells me the new total is $4.10. I ask him if he is sure he got everything because that doesn't sound like enough. He assures me it's what the computer says. I put the car in drive and drove up to the second window. I figure maybe they are having a special on McGriddles, fifty cents per order, and the Diet Coke was $2.00 which would put the total to four bucks. However, how could they sell McGriddles for 50 cents an order? Seems to cheap to me!?

Well, I get the drink and a small bag from the gal at the second window. As I grabbed that little bag it sure didn't feel like it had four orders of McGriddles in it so I opened it up and guess what? TWO orders of McGriddles. I put the car back in park, motion the gal over, and explain I ordered four orders of McGriddles. As if I just changed my mind on how many I wanted she says something like, "oh you wanted four orders?" I tell her that is correct. She quickly gets them for me, and luckily someone else noticed the situation, had been alerted to my almost getting overcharged a few minutes earlier, and they gave me the second two orders for free. I drove out of the line and headed back to the crib. The guy behind me in line was probably wishing he had chosen the left line and not the right as we were slow!

However, the point of this story is not about McGriddles being a secret gem of a food (they actually inject syrup into the pancake), or how bothersome fast food workers are (because we all worked there at some time in our lives), or really about anything else... this story is about, HOW OFTEN DO WE GET OVERCHARGED ON A DAILY BASIS BECAUSE THE COMPUTER SAYS?

peace out.

Business Plans

The SacTownGuy was BusinessMajorGuy in college. I took all the classes: corporations, partnerships, marketing, business law, human resources, accounting, international business and, frankly, I don't remember what else. In fact, I don't really know if the above were the names of the classes but I took an f'ing boatload of business classes! In just about EVERY single one of those classes the first few chapters of the book were about writing business plans, mission statements, etc.... To me there is no more futile exercise than writing such things.

Yesterday we had lunch with a woman who buys into this crap. She was trying to gauge our business by asking such questions as: do you have a written business plan, how often do you have meetings with your partners, how often do you have staff meetings, etc.... It was really annoying. If the meeting had been arranged differently and had I not been buried in the middle of the booth I would have done like Snagglepus and... exited stage right.

As she asked her annoying questions my eyes glazed over as I knew I was not the type of person she wants to do business with. I am straight forward and honest so I answered all her questions honestly:

1) No we don't have a written business plan;
2) We have partner meetings when they are needed;
3) We have staff meetings when they are needed.

Now, I had other thoughts to answer her questions but they were just thoughts:

1) No we don't have a f'ing written business plan because that is the biggest f'ing time waster in corporate f'ing America and really should be reserved for college students, state workers and others who don't have to worry about making money.

2) My partners and I are too busy helping our clients and making money so we don't schedule a meeting just because we have to have a partner's meeting the first Tuesday of every month or some such thing. Rather we have a partner's meeting when it's needed; you know, when we have an important business issue that requires a MEETING of the minds. Might be every day and might be once every six months but it's when we have something to talk about and not just an excuse to order coffee and danish and shoot the breeze with each other.

3) If we need to tell the staff something important we schedule a meeting. Otherwise they do their job because their job description does NOT include sitting in meetings all the time just because. What a waste of f'ing time. Plus, it's just more danish and coffee we would have to buy!

Simply put most of us with a business have a pretty simple business plan:

My business plan is to make a ton of f'ing money in an ethical manner.

Really, beyond that I don't care about much. Did I make a lot of money? GOOD. Did I treat everybody properly? GOOD. What the f' else really matters? Could I wordsmith the thing to death, add a few other sentences, come up with some great catch phrases, etc...? Sure I could but why waste the time. I am too busy trying to make money so I can pay for my kids private school, my big house, etc.... My job is to MAKE MONEY.

In hindsight I probably should have re-directed this annoying lady to some other questions that she could have asked. For example, maybe I should have said:

While the issue of a written business plan is an intriguing academic exercise it seems a more relevant question you could ask is: how long have you been in business? You would find we have been operating by the seat of our pants, with a written business plan, since 1979. That's a hell of a lot better than 95% of the companies that DO have a written business plan, true?

Additionally, the idea of regularly scheduled partner meetings are nice why don't you ask how well the partners get along or how much we trust each other? I would tell you that the other day we had to move money around to keep our bank accounts under the FDIC limits and when I heard we had to move $50,000 I did not hesitate, or think twice, in saying just give it to one of my partners and we can straighten it out later. I KNOW they aren't going to steal the companies money. Even though I don't have regularly scheduled meetings with them I know they won't steal it!

I could go on but hopefully you understand that business statements and regularly scheduled meetings are a waste of time. I can promise you that EVERY single big corporation that Bush is bailing out, so that McCain has a chance of being elected, has a well developed business plan, weekly partner meetings and monthly staff meetings. As George Zimmer says, I GUARANTEE IT!

In fact, corporate America would be much better off reading the SacTownGuy every day because I guarantee you I will share more useful information than you ever could come up with at your next staff meeting! Plus, I wrote your business plan up above and you can copy it if you want to.

peace out.

Going Back to Cali

Back about '87 LL belted out Going Back to Cali. If memory serves it was on the Less than Zero soundtrack. That was an interesting movie about kids in LA, cocaine, going to Palm Springs... ah, I don't really remember exactly but I do remember that is where the song got it's start. The phrase, "going back to Cali," has remained a commonly used phrase and is just another reminder of how Cali really is THE place. Shoot, LL is from New York city but did he ever sing "Going back to Queens?"

I have thought more about this conclusion lately as we watch Texas and Louisiana flood... again. Cali really is THE place to live in our country. We don't have crazy huricanes and stuff like that. My favorite snippit was about some guy at Galveston Island. This from an AP article, and you just can't make this up. Makes me very happy to live nowhere near the idiots on Galveston Island. As my peeps in So Cal might say, "oy vey, and as my peeps in Utah might say, "oh my heck." Check this:

Steven Rushing, a commercial fisherman, tried to ride out the storm with his wife and several family members, including his pregnant 17-year-old daughter, in their one-story brick home on Galveston Island.

Early Saturday, they watched the water rise and donned life jackets. When the water reached the TV, about 4 feet high, Rushing's plan was to kick out a window so they could tie themselves to a tree and await rescue.

But then he noticed a sudden calm, apparently the hurricane's eye passing over. He loaded his family into a 17-foot ski boat and headed for the San Luis resort, the headquarters for emergency personnel about 20 blocks away. It took 20 minutes to float 16 blocks before the boat ran aground. Then the Rushings sprinted for safety, guided by lights from police responding to a 911 call made from the boat.

"I'm drained. I'm beat up," Rushing said later Saturday morning. "My family is traumatized. I kept them here, promising them everything would be alright, but this is the real deal and I won't stay no more."



I have traveled the country, as well as the world, and there really are few places that match it. Is Cali perfect? Of course not. However, it has a lot of incredible attributes. Let's take SacTown for example. If you ask just about anybody in the highly populated areas of LA, San Diego and 'Frisco they would tell you SacTown is CowTown. Could be that compared to those places it is a CowTown. However, if I want my big city fix I head 90 miles west to A City by A Body of Water or I can head 90 miles east and be on the slopes of some of the world's greatest skiing in the Lake Tahoe area. I can play golf 365 days a year. I can ride my bike 365 days a year. I certainly can run 365 days a year.

What are the downsides to living in Cali? It seems one of the most common refrains from people in most other states is we don't have four seasons. That's true for the most part though here in SacTown it gets cold enough that the trees turn colors and we have snow within 45 minutes, up the hill, sometimes in winter. The funny thing is though when you ask a former cold weather state resident now living in Cali about living in Cali they ALWAYS say, "I sure don't miss the snow." That is 100% of them! So maybe that four seasons thing is just justification for living in a crap place!?

Oh ya, and my favorite reason people don't want to move to Cali... earthquakes. Not to jinx anything because we all realize we could have the BIG ONE and become an island but do you know how many earthquakes I have felt in my LIFE living here? Maybe 4 or 5 that I can recall. They last 10-20 seconds and then you go back to your perfect world. It's not like a hurricane that you brace for, board up the house, travel inland, etc... earthquakes just happen and then they are done. Plus, they have earthquakes in other places too.

Are taxes higher in Cali? Probably. However, that's because we have to build stuff like bike lanes, bike routes, nature trails, beach walks, etc.... They don't have to worry about that stuff in a lot of other states now do they!?

I guess we do spend more on sun block each year so that sucks. All that sun....

I like to dream about retirement... even though it's probably about 100 years away. I want to live on a golf course and preferably a place I can play golf 365 days a year. That basically means Cali, Arizona, New Mexico and MAYBE portions of the southeast... unless I go international.

As recently stated I went out to eastern Tennessee recently. They have some beautiful retirement communities in the mountains near Knoxville. Just awesome looking. My favorite is Rarity Pointe. They have a fancy country club golf course AND a fancy yacht club on their big lake. YES, both clubs in one development. I don't even like boats but if I move there my neighbors will have boats won't they!? So I started snooping around their website, www.raritypointe.com. WOW, is it beautiful.

As I was looking around their website I noticed they predicted about 4 inches of rain in each of the winter months which is about the same as Cali. Their coldest weather would be a tad cold for golf but not totally out of the question. So, with any luck, could play golf about 300 days a year. However, what's up with the 4 inches of rain in each of the summer months? I know they have that southeast humidity which sucks... oh ya, speaking of humidity just about every other state in the union, except Cali, has that. Humidity sucks!

Anyway, I kept looking because the community just looks so awesome. You have to put up the bible belt mentality but I still went to their religious page links. As expected, near the top is a list of 29 Baptist churches. You got your full gambit of other Christian religions, Catholics, Christians, Church of Christ, Mormons, etc... and then I saw the Judaism link. Hey, why not, let me check it to see what the Jews have going in Knoxville. I kid you not, the link goes to a page that says:

Sorry, the page you requested

www.discoveret.org/kjf/kjhwor.html

was not found on the DiscoverET.org website.

Ok, so humidity, snow, bible belt mentality, and apparently no Jews... I guess I'll be staying in Cali when I retire.

peace out.

9-11

Today is an important day in the history of our country. It's a day we all are aware of. When we hear "9-11" we think of that horrid day back in 2001. I have no great words of wisdom but I do think it important we all remember this day each year.

What were you doing that day? I was at the gym that morning. I was watching the TV, from a bike, and trying to figure out if it was real or fake what I was watching. I just couldn't figure it out at first. I had an early client meeting, about 7:30 that morning, and he showed up. We spoke as much about what news we had heard as about his legal needs. I cancelled the rest of my appointments that day. Whenever I see that client, who I met with that morning, one of us will always mention that first meeting back on 9-11-01.

I visited New York that October for a wedding. We walked all around ground zero. More than a month after 9-11 and stores were still closed, streets closed, police everywhere, etc.... What a mess!

My friend, Meteorite Guy, shared some photos yesterday. I thought this one captured a lot so thought I would share.

peace out.

Gym Talk - Monday Edition

MEMO TO 3 NEWBIES ON THE BIKES IN THE FRONT ROW:

DO NOT TALK SO LOUD AT 5:00 AM. THIS IS NOT THE SOCIAL HOUR.

Seriously, if I was a newbie at a gym I would keep my mouth closed and try to fit in. Maybe see how others behave. Is there a protocol for changing a TV station, turning fans on or off, and... TALKING. These three people are acting like they have been there for years. The one gal looks familiar but she is not a regular. The other two are fresh off the boat! Today I went to sit down on a bike, after hitting the Nautilus machines for a few minutes, and the newbie guy said, "oh we are actually saving that bike for our friend. Would you mind going down there?" Well, of course I did it. He did not realize the bikes that were left, on the far end of the front row, are not as good as the bike he was saving. However, more importantly this is not a social time and NOBODY saves bikes at 5:00 AM at my gym. These people are out of line and need to be stopped! At 5:00 AM you put in your time and then go to work; all business!

With that said, I will now start working!

Happy Monday y'all.

peace out.

Guess What?

The SacTownGuy was the HillBillyGuy for about 7 months back in 1985. The trip this past weekend back to the Smoky Mountains revived memories of that 7 months... which at time felt more like 1955 than 1985. As stated in the previous blog while Gatlinburg, and presumably much of the southeastern United States, has come along way since 1985. People of color are much more abundant around the Smokey Mountains; both as visitors and locals working the stores. Not sure how many people of color actually live in Gatlinburg or if the local high school has ever admitted a student of color but I will just assume they have.

Back in 1985 that was not the case. The school was 100% white and I mean cracker southern WHITE. Truck driving, rock 'n roll listening, white boys! The SacTownGuy was actually the LAGuy at that time. A move from sunny Los Angeles to the Smoky Mountains was an eye opening experience mid-way through my junior year of high school! Moving from a school that was 60-70% "minorities" (who is the "minority" if you have a roughly equal mix of several groups of people?) to a school that was zero percent minorities made me feel like the minority. I recall the time sitting in the back of class, not listening to the teacher (big surprise) and a couple of my classmates were looking through my wallet. They were quite dismayed to see photos of many African American gals and even asked if I was a "n___ lover." In reality the LAKid was living a "sheltered" life going to school in central LA because I didn't know those redneck racists really still existed but they most certainly did.

There were many other examples of racism I was exposed to but today's blog is not about that issue. As mentioned in my previous post though things are substantially better down south I don't think they have their race issues resolved quite yet in the Smoky Mountains. Make sure you read the quote from the Knoxville newspaper in my previous blog, down below, for comfirmation of that.

When the LAGuy moved from LA to Tennessee it was like Kevin Bacon in Footloose... but I couldn't dance. Gatlinburg, Tennessee in 1985 was a few years "behind" LA in just about everything. A couple noted exceptions: 1) the people of eastern TN were substantially better sports fans and 2) ... while I haven't come up with anything else yet. The place was truly different. I remember one of my first days at the new school walking through campus with some of my finest cloths on... Guess overalls... two tone. Man those things were sweet! I don't remember if I did the one arm strap down look or both down but I felt pretty good rockin' the Guess Jeans overalls right!? At some point one of my classmates looked at me with a real stupid look, very thick accent, and said, "guess what?" That was followed, a day or two later by another classmate, with equal dumb look and thick accent, "Swatch watch... what's a Swatch watch?" Not but a few days later, in the parking lot, as I rocked my steady LA beats during the lunch period... "Bingo Boingo... what's Bingo Boingo?" Or "Run DMC... what is Run DMC?"

My little LA world was awakened just like Kevin Bacon arriving at his school in Footloose... driving his VW Bug. I drove a VW Rabbit. Guess how many other foreign cars there were at my new high school? ONE. I saw one guy who occasionally drove a VW Bug. Everybody else was rockin' Camaro's, Trans Am's, Mustang's, trucks of all makes... and almost all vehicles in sheet metal gray color! Cars define some people in high school... including me so I was an outsider by my car among so many other things.

However, I tried to play along so I got the confederate flag front "tag" for my car, put a bag of Red Man chew on my dash, but the best thing I did... I got a horn that played 100 different songs... including the Dukes of Hazard song they played whenever Bo and Luke were about to jump over a river. That was the best. Driving through town if I saw my classmates I would hit the button and the Duke boys song would play to announce that I was there! It even had a loud speaker built in so you could yell at people on the sidewalks. Damn, I wish I had that still!

I remember the day I met the guidance counselor in the school when I went to register for classes. He looked me up and down and with that deep southern accent said, "you play football?" I told him I didn't that I played soccer. The guidance counselor replied, "that's ok... we can always use a good kicker on the football team." Let's just say that high school football is sort of big time in eastern Tennessee. The games are on the radio and on TV with many replays so you can watch it over and over! I ended up playing soccer on the high school's first team. We were not good but of course no other local teams were good as most people hadn't played before. One of the few times in my life I was one of the two or three best players on the soccer team!

The SacTownGuy worked at Burger King that summer. Mastered the fry cooker the first night, was whipping out burgers a night or two later, and was running the cash register with in a few days. My manager, John Henry, thought I must be a rocket scientist I was such a fast learner of all those difficult tasks! I always remember the first time John Henry told me the shake machine was "tore up." I had no clue what he meant. Was there a hole in the machine? Tore up, of course, meant it was broken. They really should give you a dictionary when you arrive in the south!

Speaking of arrivals I remember crossing the county line the first time I arrived there. The large sign, no joke, read,

"WELCOME TO SEVIER COUNTY
HOME OF DOLLY PARTON."

Yup, old Dolly grew up there and went to our rival high school. The year I left she bought a local amusement park in the next town over and turned it into Dollywood which is of course still there today. I never saw Dolly while I was there... I am guessing she does not spend a lot of time there.

Well, guess what, my time is done for today. More another day.

peace out.